The birds, the bees, the flowers, the trees

There is a bird outside my window.

At least I think its a bird. It makes the strangest, most horrifying noises every morning at about 7 a.m. It sounds like a lovesick turkey with a penchant for showtunes. Or its singing the theme song to Fraggle Rock, I can't decide. (By the way, whatever happened to great kids shows like that. I mean ... what do kids watch nowadays anyway?)

I wish I could find a mate for this bird so it wouldn't be so lonely. Birds that sing the blues are definitely not something you see on National Geographic specials.

I wish it would fly away from its perch and see the rest of the world.

I wish it would learn another song. Musicals and muppet intros do not an artist make. Unless you happen to be Ricky Martin (who, by the way, has been on Sesame Street - hence the muppet - and I hear is talking about doing a musical. Wonder how Rodgers and Hammerstein's 'She Bangs' would sound?)

Though I may be anthropomorphizing a bit, I wish that little bird plenty of happiness.

But mostly, I just wish it would get the hell off my windowsill.