Musings of a Gen Xer

Thoughts:

• "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - FUNNIEST. THING. EVER.
  
  
• If we needed proof our parents supported post-third trimester abortion, see the toys they bought us:
  
• The Slip n Slide - Rocks underneath plastic, staked down with metal stakes and ... just to make sure you don't miss that fence/lightpost/car ... we'll WET IT.
• The Sit N Spin - Sit on this. Now turn yourself around until you vomit. Fun huh?
• Lawn Darts - Because children should be given razor sharp darts to throw. Did this game even come with something to throw the darts at? I just remember lots of blood and crying. Oh ... and the eyepatch.
  
• Easy-bake ovens - Cause it's never too early to teach your kids about third-degree burns.
  
  
• Who booked the trips to Fantasy Island? Was there some sort of creepy schadenfreude-tinged travel agent?
  
  
• 
  A quiz - The guy in the Keep America Beautiful commercial is crying because
  a.) He got paid very little wampum to stand knee-deep in shit next to a dirty highway.
  b.) He just saved $400 on his auto insurance.
  c.) He thought this was the "Keep Brooklyn Relatively Tidy" campaign.
  

• Was the Hamburglar so cheap that he couldn't afford a less-than-a-dollar burger? And what the hell was Grimace anyway? Oh and follow this train-wreck of logic: Mayor McCheese was a cheeseburger, which McDonalds sells. Birdie was chicken (sort of), which McDonalds sells. Officer Big Mac was obviously another burger, which McDonalds sells. Ronald McDonald had a dog ...
  
  
• Who thought a man named Sgt. Slaughter would make a good GI Joe army action figure for kids?