Wow. Just ... wow.

Musings of a Gen Xer

Thoughts:

• "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - FUNNIEST. THING. EVER.
  
  
• If we needed proof our parents supported post-third trimester abortion, see the toys they bought us:
  
• The Slip n Slide - Rocks underneath plastic, staked down with metal stakes and ... just to make sure you don't miss that fence/lightpost/car ... we'll WET IT.
• The Sit N Spin - Sit on this. Now turn yourself around until you vomit. Fun huh?
• Lawn Darts - Because children should be given razor sharp darts to throw. Did this game even come with something to throw the darts at? I just remember lots of blood and crying. Oh ... and the eyepatch.
  
• Easy-bake ovens - Cause it's never too early to teach your kids about third-degree burns.
  
  
• Who booked the trips to Fantasy Island? Was there some sort of creepy schadenfreude-tinged travel agent?
  
  
• 
  A quiz - The guy in the Keep America Beautiful commercial is crying because
  a.) He got paid very little wampum to stand knee-deep in shit next to a dirty highway.
  b.) He just saved $400 on his auto insurance.
  c.) He thought this was the "Keep Brooklyn Relatively Tidy" campaign.
  

• Was the Hamburglar so cheap that he couldn't afford a less-than-a-dollar burger? And what the hell was Grimace anyway? Oh and follow this train-wreck of logic: Mayor McCheese was a cheeseburger, which McDonalds sells. Birdie was chicken (sort of), which McDonalds sells. Officer Big Mac was obviously another burger, which McDonalds sells. Ronald McDonald had a dog ...
  
  
• Who thought a man named Sgt. Slaughter would make a good GI Joe army action figure for kids?
  

The President's Mephistophilosophy

"Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what you can do for me ...
Helpless little goldfish in the man-eating democra-sea.."

Ernest & Bertram

Just for fun.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I couldn't pass up this lovely cartoon from the folks at Hot Diggedy Demon Cartoons. Enjoy!

Wino cosmetics - I don't look good, so you don't have to either

Ok I know I've been obsessing about Amy Winehouse lately. And I'd promised myself I wouldn't post anything about her for a while. But I just couldn't pass this one up. (God forgive)
According to The Sun, Amy will be launching her own cosmetics line. Yep, that's right. For only $19.99 you too could look less than a quarter of that amount.

From the article:

Amy’s style has been copied by girls around the country and there’s a lot of money to be made. It’s a very distinctive look.

I wonder if a set comes complete with drug-addicted husband, a pair of unwashed knickers and a monogrammed bong. 'Cos nothin says "crackwhore" like an Amy Winehouse makeover. Nothing.

I am a psychic

Yep. Amy Wino makes the news yet again. And this time ... it's personal.

According to this article from The Sun:

The mucky star has been living in the luxury London hotel since leaving rehab nearly two weeks ago and has refused to let in the cleaners.

Hotel management finally went into her room while Amy was performing at the Brits on Wednesday — and found at least £3,000 worth of damage in the executive suite.

Booze was spilled all over the wooden hallway and cigarette butts, countless bottles of champagne and unwashed knickers were all over the floor.

The blackened bath had to be scrubbed and unclogged after she dyed and washed her famous beehive in the tub.

Uh ... eww. You know, I was ok until the "unwashed knickers" part. Umm ... wash much, Amy? That alone made this story go from 'unwed welfare mother' to 'past her prime Hollywood hooker'. All I have to say is, you heard it here first. The woman is beyond scary.